Innovation Gone Wild: The Beersucker Proxy

Innovation Gone Wild: The Beersucker Proxy

While we are all still in the process of opening up our new calendars and just barely beginning to  brake in a New Year, titans of industry everywhere are hurriedly scrambling trying to figure out what the next truly unique and groundbreaking product will be for 2012.  For some companies it means developing brand new lines altogether while for others it’s a sign that it’s time to get back into the lab for some serious R and D in order to better improve an already existing product.  Either way, it’s time to buck the status quo and just like the seasons, it’s out with the old and in with the new.

Believe it or not, I’ve managed to dig up a little bit of insider information and let me tell you, there are some really wild ideas out there in the ether.  From the thoughtful to the downright ludicrous, all of these ideas I’m about to mention are the honest truth and are currently floating around the alcoholic beverage industry for 2012.  Now, I can’t mention any companies specifically here, but many of these ideas are being discussed in the offices of some of the largest beer companies in the U.S.

Here’s a list in no particular order:

The Eight Pack – Here’s a simple and great idea, and who doesn’t want more beer.                Likelihood: Happening Now

Scratch-a-Message Label – Cool idea, etch your initials and never lose your beer again.       Likelihood: Plausible

Aluminum Pints – Really just a marketing ploy, but it’ll probably sell.  Likelihood: Happening Now

The Game Lid – This one’s pretty involved.  I know a pictures worth a thousand words, but unfortuanetly the ones I have are probably copyrighted and also worth 1000 hours of legal services.  Instead picture the top of a beer can with two rings, one inside the other, of etched playing cards.  One ring comprised of numbers and the other the suits.  The idea is that you can somehow play a game of poker or something more nefarious with only your beverage. Likelihood: Doubtful, interesting concept but impractical at best.


Stadium Bottle – Replace glass for safer aluminum and enlarge to mimic a personal water bottle, complete with lid hoop.  Perfect for rioting.  Likelihood: Happening Now

What’s Your Mood – Black magic seventies invention, the mood stone returns in the form of a label.  Likelihood: Possible and inexpensive.

Sweet Bottle Music – A series of raised grooves that wrap around the neck of a bottle.  This allows you to turn an ordinary beer bottle into a true double threat.  Now you can both blow into the bottle in the traditions of the jug people and run the bottle cap across the grooves resulting in a melodious scratching sound.  Likelihood:  You’re kidding me!! Clearly, one of the 7 signs of the Apocalypse.

Well there you have it, the good, the bad and the crazy.  It’s hard to say which of these will start showing up on your retail shelves in the coming months, but at least one thing is for sure, there is certainly no lack of creativity and innovation in America’s beer industry.  This is truly the golden age of commercialized alcohol.

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